My Little Dhampir
by hella whitlock
Summary: Adrian couldn't live without her, so he selfishly brought her back to life. Problem was, now he was spirit bound to the one woman he couldn't have. Who currently wanted nothing to do with him. Can he step aside and let her have her happy ending, or is he her happy ending? Rose x Adrian.
1. Chapter 1

My Little Dhampir

A/N: First time trying my hand at Vampire Academy. This has been burning in my head for weeks, since I first read the series. I hate that she took Belikov back after all that shit he did. I would have killed him and went on with my life.

Everyone had always been so concerned about what would happen to Rose when I left her. Would I leave her like so many other dhampir girls, with my bastard child inside her? As so many Moroi men had before me? It was one of the main reasons there were so few female guardians. How would Rose feel when I eventually settled down with another Royal Moroi, as was expected of me? Poor Rose, she would have to guard all of these Royal events. Standing by watching me be happy with another woman. A woman who wasn't Rosemarie Hathaway.

Fucking morons, the lot of them.

No one ever stopped to think what would happen to me, if Rose broke my heart. No one had even thought that she would give me the time of day. They all certainly had vocalized their opinions on how stupid I was. Going after a Dhampir. Not just any Dhampir, but a wild and uncontrollable one. Her reputation was just as bad as mine was, the only difference was she had earned every bit of hers. Mine was all smoke and mirrors. I didn't care if you believed it, or didn't. It suited me to be thought of as a callous womanizing drunk. Still, they worried about me hurting her. My family only worried about the Ivashkov line. They didn't want me bringing anymore disgrace to the family. I was an only child, I had to carry on the family name. Never mind that we were a big enough family as it were. One of the largest Royal Moroi families. I didn't care about any of that, I just wanted Rose... My little Dhampir.

I would never have Rosemarie Hathaway. I may have held her attention for a moment here or there. But, I would never hold her heart. There would never be another woman for me. I knew that now. I had tried to convince her over and over, confessing my undying love for her. Telling her she was the only woman I cared for, the only one I would ever want, Moroi or Dhampir. She laughed me off every time. Giving me that man eater smile of hers. Flirting back and making my heart into putty.

Those disbelieving wide eyes. The same wide eyes who looked up at me while wrapped in Belikov's arms, with his lips touching her. Touching My little Dhampir. She didn't even have the social grace to look guilty. She tried the apology thing, for about two seconds. With his arms still around her. I couldn't move my eyes away from his hands on her flesh. The darkness surrounding her aura grew, I couldn't even tell what she was feeling.

The two men in her life who had tasted her blood. I cherished that memory. It filled my dreams, my waking thoughts. I never let myself forget that she had willingly offered herself up to me. It had been her suggestion, to cement our relationship. To prove that she loved only me. Oh, I yearned to taste her again. Not just her blood, her body. Her lips especially. With Belikov she had no choice. He took from her without asking, never asking. I couldn't believe she forgave him for all of that. Lissa had told me everything. Relieved to get it off her chest. It was a burden she had carried for Rose, never letting her know how deeply it hurt to know she had suffered through that. It hurt terribly knowing that she had chosen Belikov over me. Someone who had abused her in the worst way imaginable, over the man who would do anything for her. Hadn't I proven that time and again? Getting her into Victor's trial, funding her trip to kill Dimitri. Breaking her out of jail... The amount of felonies I would commit for that woman were endless. I would follow her everywhere. Anywhere.

When Tasha had shot her, I had fought my way to her prone body. Throwing fists at any Guardian who tried to remove me from her side, positive I was using compulsion without even realizing it. I didn't care that she had chosen Belikov over me. I didn't care that she would never be mine. I couldn't stand by while she died. Like Belikov had. He just stood there, immobile. Staring at Tasha fighting off Guardians. Every fireball she made, was quickly doused by any water user who had the aptitude. She had killed the Queen, and framed one of the best Guardian's we had. She wasn't getting free.

Belikov took a step towards Tasha and I stopped paying attention to him. That fucking idiot. I assumed he was going to go try to help her. Like he had when Rose had been taken in by the guard for my aunt's death. My eyes met Rose's for a moment. A moment that still feels like a lifetime for me. She seemed to be giving up. Saying goodbye. Until she had to close her eyes when she coughed up all of that blood. I didn't hesitate. I tried to pull myself together as best I could. Bringing together all of the spirit I was capable of. I held my hands over the gunshot wound, pleading that it would work. That all of these months with Lissa training with spirit, hadn't been for nothing. This was more important than making a sapling grow. This was me being purely selfish. I could let her go, let her live her life with Belikov where I could watch her from afar. I couldn't let her die. Let her completely leave me. Then there would never be a chance. For us.

Without Rosemarie Hathaway, there would be nothing to hold the darkness that comes with spirit use back.

The wound closed up, and I collapsed on top of her. Completely drained of energy. I was out longer than she was. Lissa came to visit me a few hours after I woke up, and I waited anxiously for her to tell me about Rose. She just smiled sadly at me. The shadow kissed bond was gone, she no longer had that special connection with Rose. And Rose, she was too involved in Belikov to notice anything else going on in the world. Sometimes she could be self centered like that.

"She doesn't know, Adrian." Lissa said softly, as she sat down on the edge of my bed.  
"Doesn't know what?" Her eyes were looking anywhere but at me.  
"She thinks she can still feel my emotions." I bark out a laugh,  
"Won't that be a surprise for her, the next time I'm with a woman." Lissa met my eyes then, her pale green staring in disbelief. She knew as well as I did that I was bluffing. She could read Auras almost as well as I could by now. She was dedicated in her practice.

"Adrian..." She reached for my hand, and we sat like that for a few minutes. "You know she's going to be pissed." Lissa grinned at me. "I didn't think she'd ever given a second thought to being bound to anyone but me."  
"Yeah, she's probably going to think I'll convince you to be an alcoholic chain smoker." I was dying for some vodka and a cigarette. Lissa looked thoughtful.  
"Maybe this is what she needs." I groaned. Lissa has been all for me and Rose being together. She's completely disgusted with Belikov and as much as she appreciates his talents as a Guardian, she can't respect him for what he did when he was Strigoi. Or after.  
"Cousin, don't start that again."  
"I'm serious. I don't know what happened between you two, but it's obviously got something to do with Guardian Belikov. Maybe feeling that you do actually care about her through the bond could be just what she needs to believe you." I couldn't hear anymore. That wasn't going to happen. I wouldn't let my hopes get up just because we were bound together with spirit.  
"I'm sure she'll just kill herself again so she doesn't have to bear being bound to me in any sense of the word." I sounded so absolutely bitter and heartbroken that Lissa didn't even try to scold me for being so casual about Rose dying. It probably wouldn't be that big of a deal, but let's face it. She does happen to die far more than the average dhampir. Or Human, or Moroi. Strigoi typically only die twice so she's got that going for her. I bet she would find that amusing if I told her. If I ever got the chance to talk to her again.

"Say, Cousin. What did it feel like when she was seeing through your eyes?" Lissa looked shocked for a moment,  
"I could never feel her. Sometimes, in traumatic situations I felt comforted knowing she could feel my distress. I'm not sure if that was me just praying that Rose was there seeing what I saw through the bond or not." I didn't feel comforted. I felt like someone was eavesdropping. There was something in the back of my mind letting me know she was there. I wondered if I could push her out, like Avery had. I closed my eyes and pushed some spirit towards the niggling feeling in my subconscious.  
"I'm pretty sure I can feel her right now." I muttered, focusing on that feeling and pushing it away from me. It was gone instantly. "Or I could anyway. I'm pretty sure she's on her way to yell at us now." I wasn't sure how I felt about that.  
"Did you push her out? She's not going to like that."  
"I don't think she's going to be half as grateful to me as she was to you for saving her life." I laughed, but you could tell my heart wasn't in it. It sounded hollow even to my ears.

"ADRIAN IVASHKOV." I heard a door slam, and then there she was. Still wearing the pajamas she had on while she was unconscious. Her hair was a complete mess, and she looked thin and pale. She was still the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. I couldn't look at her, but I couldn't tear my eyes away from her either.  
"Either Lissa is having lust filled thoughts about me or someone has some explaining to do." She declared, her eyes moving back and forth between us. Eyes zeroing in on our hands intertwined. "How long was I fucking out for? Or was this going on before I came back? Fuck!" And there she went, slamming the door after her.

"That went swimmingly." Lissa said, yanking her hand out of mine.  
"Of course it did, Cousin. She was jealous. Over me." I couldn't help feeling smug and happy. I was going to have a drink. And a cigarette. And a shower. At the same time. "Excuse me, Lissa. I think I should go clean myself up and get thoroughly drunk." She smiled at me and left a lot quieter than Rose had.  
"My little dhampir, what am I going to do with you?" I said to myself, downing a glass of vodka and taking my cigarettes with me into the bathroom.

Elsewhere...

Rose

Shaking myself from Adrian's mind, still a little stunned I was bound to him. "What indeed." I sighed. My life was a fucking mess.


	2. Chapter 2

My Little Dhampir

A/N: The reviews have been so amazing, I feel totally psyched to keep writing this! There will maybe eventually be lemons but if I'm honest I've never written one aside from that Jack/Rose titanic fanfic my mom found when I was like 11 and that's an entirely different story, and its embarrassing haha. But if you would like, I shall try.

Rose might as well have been on the other side of the world, for how often I got to see her since she's been back at Court. Even when she was unconscious Belikov was always there, keeping me away. A few weeks ago, all I could do was long to see her. To hold her in my arms again, to show her how much I loved her. How much she meant to me. Instead she wouldn't meet my eyes when I did happen to catch sight of her. I could see her shift uncomfortably from one foot to the other when she felt my emotions. I tried my hardest to keep her blocked from me, but that was one thing I hadn't figured out yet. I would ask Rose how she managed to block Lissa's emotions, but I doubt she'd even let me start asking. She's done a fantastic job at showing me how much I mean to her. Which is basically fucking nothing.

Everything changed so much, in so little time. When I went to pick her up, I was on top of the world. I had the girl, one of my best friends was going to be Queen and I was finally getting the hang of using my spirit based abilities. Then I turned the corner and my entire world shattered. Now my best friend was Queen, I did not have the girl, and I had no idea what the fuck I was doing with my life. I wanted to spend it with My little Dhampir, but now... I was lucky if she didn't turn tail and run when she saw me walking towards her.

"Adrian, eat something." Lissa chided softly. Not wanting anyone to hear her. I ignored her, but I pushed my peas around the plate anyway. Christian kicked me from his spot across from me at the formal dining table. I could barely concentrate on maintaining the illusion that everything was fine with Lord Ivashkov. Thank god he finally got over his Dhampir infatuation. Fucking fools. It was taking every ounce of my willpower to stare at my plate and not at Rose standing less than 8 feet away from me, behind Lissa's spot at the head of the table. If I just turned my head a little to the left I could see her. Christian kicked me again.

"Alright, alright. I'm eating." I muttered, meeting his worried eyes as I cut off a piece of my now cold chicken and stuffed it in my mouth. Chewing with my mouth open and downing the rest of my wine. We were at some sort of dinner, but if anyone asked me what it was I just didn't know. I felt a flicker of an emotion, I wouldn't have been sure I felt anything at all if I didn't know what she felt like. I couldn't pinpoint what it was, I was better at reading auras than I was random flashes of feeling. I sat there completely rigid for the rest of the dinner. Counting the seconds until I could make a hasty exit. Finally, Lissa was thanking everyone for being here for... Whatever. I didn't care, I was already out the door with a cigarette in my mouth. Rose got what she wanted. She was Lissa's guardian. Belikov too, although that was completely against Lissa's wants and desires. She wanted nothing more than to separate them and keep Belikov far away from her and everyone she cared about.

"Could you be more obvious?" Christian asked, walking out of the building and joining me outside. I shrugged, struggling to find my cigarette lighter. Suddenly my cigarette was on fire.

"Jesus, Christian!" It had startled me, but it shockingly didn't set me on fire. I took a long deep drag and felt my frayed nerves mending. He had been practicing. I felt bad that I hadn't noticed. We may not have been as close as he and Rose, but we were pretty much buds. Him and Rose had that whole combat bond, they could rely on each other on a different level than they could anyone else. Almost.

"She was staring at the side of your face the entire time." I scoffed,

"Don't bullshit a bullshitter, Christian." He just laughed, leaning against the wall next to me. That was our standard hangout position, when we were outside anyway. Probably because I usually liked to loiter while I smoked.

"I've heard someone else say that before. You two are a lot alike even if neither of you will admit it." I turned to look at him, and he just stared at me smirking.

"I can see why she threatened to kick your ass up and down the academy. You're obnoxious as fuck." There wasn't any heat behind it though. We all knew he was a smart ass, but we all were really. Even Lissa, if you caught her in the right mood.

"You're just jealous she never threatened you with holding you down until you surrendered." Now all I could think about was how her naked body had looked below mine.

"Fuck you, Christian." My cigarette was done. I dropped it on the floor and stamped it out, not giving a second thought to how much she hated litter. He must have taken my standing up straight as a sign I was leaving.

"Hey, wait. Seriously Adrian, you two have to talk." I rolled my eyes, maybe leaving was a good idea. I started walking away towards the court bar, and I heard him huff in frustration. "One of you is going to have to grow balls, but I guess maybe it will be Hathaway and not the man with actual balls." I turned to tell him to shut the fuck up but he was already back inside. Figures he'd say something like that and bail. I'd love for him to say that to Rose and walk away. I smiled in spite of myself, thinking about her.

Now I was in the mood to get drunk in my room and surround myself with memories of her. I headed towards the Palace instead. Lissa had given me new arrangements when she was made Queen. She wanted everyone she trusted and loved to be close by. Suspiciously my room was in the same hallway as Rose's. In fact I had to walk by it every time I came and went. Like every other time, this time would be no different. I tried to walk as fast as possible, trying to think so loud I wouldn't be able to hear anything that might be going on in there. Praying all the while that she wasn't in there with anyone. I wasn't even sure if she was using her room.

I've only ever seen Eddie Castile, because his room was across from mine at the end of the hall. He never really gave me the time of day before, we just didn't have much interaction. We never thought about being friends. He's been making an effort to be nice though, like he feels sorry for me. Saying hi to me in the hallway, when I just want to escape to or from my room hurriedly. No chance of seeing her. I made my way down the hallway smoothly. No one was around. They were probably at the party I was avoiding. I unlocked my door quickly and shut it behind me, locking the deadbolt. I had no desire for any interruptions. I just wanted to get drunk and high and pass out. I loosened my tie and tossed it over the back of the couch, my jacket following immediately after. 

I had made a beeline to the alcohol. Grabbing a chilled glass from the fridge, and the vodka from the freezer I poured myself a glass. I usually liked ice but the ice machine was broken and fuck if I wanted to invite anyone in to fix it. Solitude was my main companion lately. Except for when Lissa sent for me. She liked to have little chats when Rose was away from her on a mission. I both liked and hated the fact that Lissa cared so much about me. On one hand it was flattering to know someone cared about me. As a person. Not me as an Ivashkov. I think that's part of the reason she liked me. I didn't care if she was the last Dragomir, or if she were the Queen. I supported her and Christian not because I knew no one else would because of his parents. I did it because they were great for each other.

I downed my drink and took the bottle with me to the couch. I only had two glasses of wine with dinner. I have been trying to cut back during social events. It wasn't a good image for one of the Queen's closest friends and the head of the Moroi Defensive Magic committee to be shitfaced in public all of the time. How could I bestow my wisdom if I were drunk? It was pretty smooth of Lissa and Christian to put me at the head. It couldn't be Christian, not with his tarnished family name. It was even worse after what his Aunt had done to Rose. Both of our Aunts had been particularly cruel to Rose.

It was funny how everything in my life came back to Rose. My little Dhampir. I took a deep breath, relaxing fully into the couch. Then I wasn't in my room anymore. I was at the party. My eyes glazing over every single Dhampir and Moroi in attendance. I knew I was seeing through Rose's eyes. I knew Lissa had never been able to do that with Rose and I wondered what made me so special? I did have a better grasp on my spirit use. I had been aware and using it since I was fourteen. Lissa only just started understanding when she was seventeen. Now she's eighteen and Queen, with less free time than she would like to educate herself in spirit use. Her eyes passed over Guardian Belikov and I felt a momentary surge of regret. He didn't even acknowledge that she had been looking at him longer than necessary.

"What the hell?" I wondered aloud, not realizing I had spoken.  
"Adrian?" Rose whispered, her hand coming up to her head. Her eyes closed and when they opened again I was back in my own room. Fuck. She knew I had been in her head. How was I to know I could do that? I dug out my phone from my jacket pocket and texted Lissa. She probably didn't have her phone on her but I'm sure she'd get it before Rose made her way to bitch me out. I was almost looking forward to seeing her.

_I was just at the party. In Rose's head. She knows. FYI._

I liked to think of my texting skills as short and concise. Mostly I just wanted finish drinking and pass out. My little Dhampir's rage would have to wait.


	3. Chapter 3

My Little Dhampir

A/N: Let me know what you think! Reviews make me super stoked, so you know, if you wanna make a girl super stoked... :)

Rose hasn't been talking to much of anyone, aside from Belikov and Christian. You can only imagine my surprise when I heard heavy footsteps stomping all down the hallway, followed by a loud voice, "Shove it, Castille!" Poor Eddie. It seemed like My little Dhampir had come to pay me a long overdue visit. Unfortunately it wasn't going to be how I've been imagining it. Usually involving her knocking on my door wearing nothing but lingerie and a trench coat. A guy can dream, can't he? I decided to save myself the trouble of having to replace my door, she might just kick it down. I managed to open it right in the nick of time. There she was, poised and ready to kick my door down.

"My little Dhampir! What brings you here?" I opened the door wide so that she could come in. Her eyes traveled the length of my body, from head to toe. She had her guardian mask on, but I could see her flicker of attraction before she pushed it away. Aura reading was cheating, she had said. It's all I had though. I grinned at her. Her eyes narrowed when she noticed the glass in my hand. Probably knowing I didn't drink much water, so it had to be vodka. She pushed me into the room, slamming the door behind her. Her brown eyes all passionate fire, her face scrunched up in anger. Her hair falling loose from her bun, because she had probably run the whole way here. There hasn't been a single moment since I had seen her that night at the Ski Lodge, that I've managed to lose all sense of myself. The spirit was throbbing inside my head, pulsating through out my body.

She was beautiful then, with her black eye and tears. She was beautiful now, eyes glowering and aura outlined in black. I wondered if she had been taking my spirit induced darkness. I wasn't sure if she'd still have lingering darkness from Lissa. I tried to keep myself shut off from her, because I was not Lissa. I didn't need her to carry my burdens for me. I wanted to carry hers. I wanted to kiss her more than anything. To hold her in my arms again, have her remember how amazing and right it felt being together. I couldn't. She would never let me. I stepped away from her, with my arms up in surrender.

"There aren't any Strigoi here, Guardian Hathaway." Her eyes flashed surprise and her aura showed how hurt she was. Was it from me calling her Guardian Hathaway, or because I kept reminding her that she was wigging out? Her face was quickly composed into the Guardian mask we were all becoming accustomed to. She really was her Mother's daughter.

"Stay out of my head, Lord Ivashkov." Her tone was harsh, but her voice steady. I knew she was trying to give me a taste of my own medicine. It didn't work, I thought she was hot as hell. She can call me Lord Ivashkov anytime.

"You know more than me that it's involuntary." I tried not to sound as bitter and upset as I really was, but it still came out that way. I was though, at her, at our situation. My complete lack of control when it came to staying away from her. Even now my fingers twitched with need to touch her, feel her silken locks between my fingers.

"I haven't felt your emotions in days. I figured you'd been keeping good and drunk." She paused, looking around the room and noticing the lack of empty bottles everywhere. "And it seems like you haven't been drinking much at all. The only bottle I can see is still mostly full." Her aura beamed pride, but her tone was patronizing. I shrugged, turning away from her and sitting on the couch. Finishing my drink and pouring another. I didn't want to see her aura.

I kind of wanted to tell her I wouldn't drink so much if she'd stop this bullshit between us. I decided to keep my mouth shut though, I wasn't in the mood for a fight. I didn't bother answering her. Which of course, Rose took as me giving her the silent treatment. She huffed and made her way over to me, sitting on the coffee table. She leaned over and lifted my head up with her hands, forcing me to look into her eyes. I had been avoiding this very same thing since the last time, for my own sanity. I'm not sure what she was expecting to be able to read from my eyes. Something in the way she gasped softly and dropped her hand. It was too late, my eyes were locked on hers. I couldn't tear my head away if I tried, and I did. Her features seemed to soften, her hand reaching up instead to cup my cheek.

"Adrian..." She whispered in that breathless way I had always liked. I felt weak and paralyzed. Her eyes were burning with regret, the feel of her skin touching mine after so long... I was losing control. I spoke without thinking then, not understanding my words fully as they flowed from my mouth inhibited.

"My little dhampir, you've done it again with your siren's call. I'm afraid to move because this moment might end, I've wanted to touch you in so long." My hand reached out to touch her hair, I restrained myself just before I tucked her hair behind her ear. My hand hovering near her face. "Please, don't..." I had died and gone to heaven where it was just me and Rose together for eternity. Her lips were on mine and my world exploded into a thousand stars. I was stunned for a moment but my arms still wrapped around her of their own accord. Hers moved from my face to my hair, pulling it gently and running her nails along my scalp. She knew all of my tells. I groaned low in my throat, my hands reaching for her waist. I pulled her onto my lap without breaking the kiss. I needed to feel more of her touching me. Preferably without clothes, but I wouldn't take what I could get. I wouldn't be greedy.

I gently took her bottom lip between my teeth and bit down before I kissed her back open mouthed and sloppy. She groaned into my mouth and pushed herself closer to me. I obliged by wrapping my arms tightly around her, crushing her to my chest. Her mouth wasn't enough for me. I was greedy and wanted to taste more of her flesh. I kissed my way from her mouth down her jawline, where I paused to bite her earlobe and continued licking and sucking my way down to the base of her neck. Anticipation and desire roared through the bond.

"Fuck." I breathed out against her skin. I could feel her trembling, her hands leaving my back to pull my face back to hers. She smiled at me, with unshed tears glistening in her eyes. "Why are you so sad, my little Dhampir?" I reached up to brush a loose strand of hair behind her ear, like I had wanted to so badly earlier. "I wish you could feel happy always, no shadows cloaking your joy. I wish I made you that happy." I was losing hold on my spirit sanity. Her tears started falling then and she pulled me close, wiping her tears away with the back of her hand.

"Adrian, I can feel you. All of you." I thought for a moment she was talking about all of Little Ivashkov, not that I would ever actually call it that aloud. Then I realized that I had let my guard down completely when we kissed. I wasn't sure if it was the kiss itself, or the alcohol. I wasn't surprised, it has always been very easy to lose control of myself around Rose. She made me want to be a better man, the man I had been trying not to be because it was too hard. Just when I opened my mouth to apologize for letting my guard down, she continued.

"I never believed you." Her aura was rotating through an array of dark greens. Heartache, remorse, sorrow, all intertwined. This wasn't something she just started feeling, she's been feeling like this awhile. My heart leapt to my throat with hope.

"Never believed me about what?" I asked, my voice betraying my emotions. Not that she couldn't feel them anyway. I wiped her tears away while she composed herself. I wondered how I had gotten here from where I had been two hours ago. Miserable at dinner that Lissa was forcing me to attend, instead of here with Rose in this surreal moment.

"I always thought you just saw me as a prize to be won. Your Aunt Tatiana made that pretty clear, when she told me to stay the hell away from you lest I become pregnant and shipped off to a commune. Never mind all the stories I heard about you from Lissa and Dimitri all about the girls you went through, Dhampir and Moroi alike. I should have realized, though. That your past became null and void that night we met at the Ski Lodge. Even after, when you tried so hard to walk into my dreams to find us in Spokane. I had thought about asking you for help first, you know. With your super spirit compulsion, I thought I could get through the gates and leave you behind. I knew you'd follow me anywhere though, and I couldn't risk you. Not even then. I couldn't have you in danger any more than I could Lissa." She stopped then, wiping at her eyes.

"Little Dhampir..." I wanted to console her, we were already arms all tangled in one another. What would I say, what was there for me to say? That she had every part of me since the second I saw her? That day my whole world changed. She smiled at me, her hand reaching up to rub my unshaven cheek. I wondered if she liked the scruffy look I had been rocking lately. Her aura shifted a bit, curious, questioning. Still shades of green, but lighter. I gave her a quick kiss and waited for her to ask me what was on her mind.

"Why did you save me?" She rushed out all at once. I had been expecting that question. Just not in this exact setting. "Not to say, I'm not grateful. I am. It's just... Why didn't Lissa?" She seemed to be ashamed of even having to ask, she knew already that Lissa would have done everything she could to save her. She already knew the answer but she needed clarification.

"She was pulled from the room before you even hit the floor." I said bluntly, pulling her body closer still to mine. So thankful that I still had a little Dhampir to see and touch. She rested her head on my shoulder then, and squeezed me tightly with her arms. We sat there, just holding each other. I could almost die a happy man right now. Almost.

"You were closer to the door to the back of the room. Why weren't you dragged off too? First, even." I smiled at her words, they were more accurate than my own. Lissa had fought, but she she wasn't as strong as me. Physically or mentally. I almost lied to Rose then, telling her that I didn't matter as much as Lissa, since our friend was now Queen. It would be bullshit and she'd know it. I had been the late Queen's favorite nephew and everyone knew it. She had left me absolutely everything, and I was pretty much high up on the Royal Moroi ranking system. So I settled for telling Rose the truth, as I always would.

"I used compulsion and kicked some ass to get to you, My little Dhampir." I could feel her smiling against the crook of my neck.

"I know, I remember."


	4. Chapter 4

My Little Dhampir

A/N: Dearest Anon Reviewers! You leave me the best reviews, always so encouraging and positive. And demanding, haha. Thank you for reviewing, even though you don't have an account. I'm glad I turned anon reviews on!

Chapter Four 

"I know, I remember." I froze, that was the look she had given me. She was saying goodbye because she didn't believe I could do it, that I could bring her back. She had seen everything, though? Even Belikov? I was loathe to bring up that asshole, so I kept my questions to myself.

"So what did you see? If I'm honest I don't remember much of what happened. Lissa and I think I went into a spirit induced rage or something... There's only bits and pieces of that day left. There's memories here and there, shades of emotions, colors of auras and snapshots. Like images in a scrapbook." I couldn't bear to try to remember, either. The last thing I wanted was to remember the day I thought I had lost her. She ran her hand soothingly up and down my back. It was one of the most intimate things I had ever done with a woman. It was usually wham, bam, thanks, and I was out. This whole affection thing, I had only experienced it with Rose and my Aunt. This gentle touching without any motives, any purpose other than to soothe my raincloud of emotions.

"You shoved the first Guardian away from you and into a few Moroi." Her voice was soft, monotone. As if she was trying not to display any emotion. I felt her lips press to the side of my neck for a moment before she continued. "You gave Castille that black eye he was sporting, and you picked up my mother and put her behind you like she weighed nothing. All so you could cross the six feet to get to me." When she finished her voice had taken on a more awed, impressed tone. I couldn't believe after all I've ever said to her, she didn't think I wouldn't try to move mountains for her. I was dying to know if she saw something I remembered with amazing clarity. It still made my blood absolutely boil. "And I watched Dimitri stand still as you brushed past him. He basically ignored me as I laid there dying. Whereas you, the lazy Lord Ivashkov, moved faster than any Moroi I had ever seen. For me. A lowly Dhampir, with such a bad record I'm surprised I was accepted to be a Guardian at all. If my best friend weren't Queen, I would be on desk duty or worse. Even with my absurdly large Strigoi count." She ended it rather bitterly. I knew she hated owing people, and being in someone's debt. She earned where she was today. I stroked her hair gently, and told her just that.

"Rose, you are where you are because you deserve to be. You earned it. Every last bit. Sure, you don't do many things as traditionally as most Moroi would like, but the change is good. It's good for our people as a whole, Dhampir and Moroi alike. It's opening people's eyes to the bigger picture. Spirit, being shadow-kissed, Moroi defending themselves with their magic being used offensively, dhampir rights, the age law... Even our short romance set the stage for Moroi and Dhampir couples." Fuck, why did I have to say that. "Rose, these are all hot topics of discussion in every meeting. All because of you. The younger Moroi want a say, and they're saying they want change."

"I can feel it, you know? How proud you are of me. How passionate you are yourself for change." She lifted her head from my shoulder, and I held her face between my hands, jade green eyes meeting golden brown. "I should have never gone to Russia. I wish you had told me no. You couldn't though, could you? Even if I asked you for the moon, you'd tell me 'Yes, little dhampir.' As if it were no big deal." I smiled wryly at her.

"And what is it My little Dhampir wants now?" She cocked her head to the side and gave me her trademark man eater smile.

"Oh, I think you know, Lord Ivashkov." To demonstrate, she ground herself in my lap.

"Fuck, little Dhampir..." I muttered before capturing her lips with mine. We kissed for only a few seconds before she pulled away, turning her head towards the door behind me. Footsteps were coming down the hallway, brisk and with importance. Probably Belikov. He always did walk like he had a stick up his ass.

"Roza!" He yelled through the door before banging on it with his fist. Christ, how many angry Dhampirs were going to come over tonight? We both froze momentarily, searching each others faces for an answer on what to do. I didn't know where she stood with him, if he was here for her, would she leave me for him? Again?

"Roza, I know you're in there." He called through the door. She sighed and got off of my lap. I stood with her and grabbed her hand. I idn't know how to tell her that I wanted her to stay, to leave him for me.

"I won't ever leave you again." My little Dhampir smiled at me, love in her eyes and aura. She knew she made a mistake . I felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I let go of her hand, nodding to the door. I trusted her to take care of herself. I could always count on her to be strong for everyone, except herself. That was my job. To be strong for her when she couldn't herself. I turned around and poured myself another drink. I wasn't even tipsy yet, my drinks had been spaced too far apart. I could tell when Rose opened the door because Belikov started badgering her with questions straight away.

"What took you so long? What were you doing in here alone, with _him_?" He didn't really give her much of a chance to answer before she got too pissed to answer without snapping at him. I turned around just in time to see Rose let him have it.

"Sure Dimitri, come on in. I'm sure Lord Ivashkov won't mind." She said airily, dripping sarcasm. That's my girl. Making him jealous and putting him in his place. I'd be a liar if I didn't admit it was hot as hell.

"A little distrustful, eh, Belikov?" I couldn't help myself, I toasted him with my glass and downed it, setting it on the coffee table behind me. I was a smart ass through and through. "Though, you would know all about that, wouldn't you?" I got a good glimpse of the guilty look on his face before he replaced it with his Guardian Mask. That didn't stop his aura from making his emotions an open book to me.

"I'm sorry for the intrusion, Lord Ivashkov." I smiled at him being so formal with me. He was embarrassed, he liked to be the perfect Guardian, and he knew his ass over reacted. He turned towards Rose, "Roza, The Queen has asked for you." He was staring into her eyes so intently, I wondered if he was bullshitting her and trying to use compulsion. That's how it always felt I looked like when I used it. His aura said he was being truthful, and there was a sense of urgency. "You should come too, Lord Ivashkov." Belikov said after Rose agreed to go with him. I was going to go anyway, but thanks, you dick. I grabbed my coat off the couch and headed towards the door. Rose staring between me and Belikov. '_Silly little Dhampir.'_ I gave her a toothy grin to emphasize that I was talking to her through the spirit bond. She just glared at me.

"Let's go then, you know how obnoxious Royals can be when you keep them waiting." Not that I'd ever known Rose to think Lissa was obnoxious, so I figured it was a dig at me. Oh boy, little Dhampir. '_You kept me waiting for so long_.' She turned after opening the door to smile at me, and together we walked to the Palace.

I wondered what exactly went through Lissa and Christian's minds when they saw me stroll through the door besides Rose, with Belikov trailing behind like a Guardian would. They were confused and relived. Hell, I was too.

"So what's going on, Cousin?" I asked joining them in the sitting room. Sitting in the couch opposite of theirs I hoped Rose would sit next to me. Belikov moved to stand at the wall by the door, behind me. Good, at least this way I wouldn't have to look at him. Rose sat next to me. I was elated.

"I could ask you two the same thing, Cuz." Lissa said flippantly. Earning a big grin from Christian. He really was rubbing off on her. She was staring between me and Rose, not really focusing on either of us. She was looking at our auras intermingling. I wondered what it looked like to her.

"What was of such importance that you had to drag us out here at this hour? I wanted to go to bed." Rose asked impatiently, avoiding the issue altogether. I no longer cared, now I was thinking about her going to bed with me.

"There's been a contract put out on you." Christian said bluntly. Ice flowed through my veins as Lissa scolded him. I was terrified, Lissa and I shared a quick look. Both of us knowing that we couldn't lose her. We were too selfish to live without her. Rose broke out into hearty laughter beside me.

"So what? I've died twice, almost died at least twenty other times that I can think of offhand, I survived being kidnapped by Strigoi twice, and I broke out of jail."

'_My little Dhampir, you really are too cocky for your own good._' She glared at me, before looking back towards Lissa and Christian.

"Rose! This isn't a joke. Abe, your father, might I remind you, is the one who told us about it. He is already on the way, and I'm sure your mother is with him. You really must've pissed off a whole mess of people on your stupid suicide mission to Russia." She spat out angrily. Wow, I don't think I had ever seen Lissa berate Rose like that. Or at all, really. "And don't think I'm not mad at your stupid ass for funding her bullshit trip." She turned her green eyes on me, and I won't lie I cringed a bit. Now we've made our Queen swear and she's only been Queen for a few weeks. I suddenly felt like I had whenever my Aunt Tatiana would call me in and lecture me. Lissa was going to be a great Queen and mother one day. Already stellar with the guilt trips.

"The only enemies I made in Russia was Zmey and Viktoria." Rose said confidently. The fact that it was two and she was so sure was disturbing. It should have been none for a trip that only lasted the upside of a month.

"Viktoria Belikov?" He asked from behind us. Rose sighed and spoke without turning around,

"Yes, I keep telling you to visit your family. They need to know you're alive, a dhampir. They really love you a lot." So she has been trying to get rid of him huh? I'll take that positively because I'm selfish and self centered. Possibly also optimistic, which was new for me.

"Rose, you have to leave court." Lissa said firmly, in a voice that said there would be no objections. Of course, she was talking to Rose...

"I'm not leaving!" Rose erupted, jumping up from her seat in frustration. A Guardian I didn't know stepped forward a if she were about to assault the Queen. "Connors, are you fucking serious?" She hissed through her teeth at him, poised and more than ready to put him on his ass. I had to adjust myself, my Valkyrie woman was beautiful and fierce. I stood up and put my hand on her shoulder. I had almost expected her to flip me on my ass, and give me a verbal lashing as well. Instead she surprised me by reaching up and clasping my hand with hers.

"You have to go. It's safer for me, for every Moroi at court." Lissa said, looking more upset than ever at having to say this to her best friend. Her Guardian. She knew she could count on Rose to take care of her, and herself. If she sent Rose away, who would take care of Lissa? She didn't want to voice that out loud though, Rose would never leave. Lissa would be safe at court, but it wouldn't mean she didn't feel nervous when she was by herself.

"No, you're right. As usual. I'm just being selfish. As usual." Rose said tiredly, I could see the exhaustion wearing her down, creeping around the edges of her aura. She turned towards me, and pulled my hand down so she could hold it between both of hers. "Still got that bank card in my name, Ivashkov?" She tried joking, but she just sounded strained. I looked at her and then to Lissa, my emotions stumbling all over one another. I was frantic. She was just going to leave me. Again. I couldn't let her just leave me. Not again. That's all she ever did, was leave me. It was her hidden talent aside from killing Strigoi. She'd give me a glimmer of hope and then she'd bail.

"You're always going to leave me." I breathed, touching her face with my free hand, moving it up to push a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "That is our destiny. To never be together, to never be complete." My voice was taking on a whimsical tone, I was losing it to the darkness. I heard her gasp, and say my name, but I was already fading to black.


End file.
